Empower You

All Women Are ‘Real’, They Are Not ‘Like’ Anybody

It is a common misconception that when a woman does anything, she does it for getting male attention. Whether she tries to play it cool or take it seriously, she is always judged. We, as a woman are always too critical about other women. Even if they do things for their own happiness, we form an opinion about them.

There is a common phrase which every other girl today uses a lot – “I’m not like other girls.”

Why? What is so wrong in being like other women?

Women who like smoking, fart jokes and video games think they are real. They consider those who like reading books or put a lot of makeup as unreal. What has made us think that way? Is someone who likes makeup, somehow less smart or ‘real’ than you are? Why is it so bad to be into things that are typically associated with women? A woman who doesn’t enjoy night-outs or late night parties or drinking is considered prude or nerd. Why is it so that we always judge a woman?

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The question comes “who determines what ‘real’ means in the first place, and why is it such a desired trait?”

That is why women today think that they have to distance themselves from the female gender in order to earn respect in the society.

We believe that we have to stop being a typical woman and be more like somebody we are not. We separate ourselves from the hypocritical beliefs and then again we are judged. It becomes a belief that in order to gain respect in a man’s eyes we have to be into certain things. We have to like video games, comic books and don’t be too emotional. Then finally we will become ‘Not like other girls’ type.

That does not end here. Many girls who do typically ‘male’ things are told that they are fake and they do those things for male attention. Why are they typically male things? Couldn’t they be anybody’s thing?

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We see the difference in our mindset when we talk about celebrities. We drool over men like Ranbir Kapoor and Chris Pratt for being so humble, funny and hot. And we too celebrate men like Zac Effron and Chris Evans, who does not have to do anything for getting female attention. They don’t have to crack funny jokes or behave in a certain way. We just go gaga over their hot looks.

Both types are different. One needs to make an effort to make us love them, whereas the other does not need to. But still we don’t compare them, right? We well know that they are of different kinds and don’t hold them to the same standards.

But why the same does not happen when it comes to a female celebrity?

The tone changes totally when we talk about female celebrities. Actresses like Jennifer Lawrence, Alia Bhatt, Emma Stone, and Deepika Padukone have always been lauded for being real. People fawn over these ultimate real girls for being relatable, cool and different. But when we talk about them, we start comparing them to each other. Who is hotter and who is prettier? “I don’t think she is that pretty,” or “She is smarter than her,” are phrases that have probably slipped out of our mouths at some point.

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Can you tell me why male and female actors are not treated the same way?

We haven’t noticed this till now, but there has always been a difference. This is not just in the case of celebrities, but we have seen and faced the same in our everyday life as well. We talk about other girls and start comparing them with each other. But the affair is not the same when it comes to boys.

When we see a girl playing football or beating a guy, we punish them for not being lady-like. But when it comes to boys, it is always ‘boys are boys’. Has a boy even been told to behave gentlemanly? (That’s not even a word I guess). Why is that, that we stereotype women for being too fragile or emotional? And when we meet a man who is emotional, we say to him “Don’t behave like a girl”. Women can’t pursue a certain field because we are not fit for that.

We have these standards because we see men as individuals and women as competitors.

We have been conditioned since childhood to believe that one woman’s success is another woman’s failure. When one woman gets the dress and other woman doesn’t we see jealousy. When a girl finds out that the coolest guy in the college loves some other girl, not her, she feels hatred.

But… what’s the point? Why do we do that to each other? Why there always has to be a competition?

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We cannot define someone’s character by their hobbies.

There is no wrong in being a woman. There is no issue in being yourself and doing things that you like. It is your life and no one has the right to form an opinion of you without knowing you properly. It is now the high time you stop spending all this time tearing one another apart. That shouldn’t be something you should do. That is not your goal.

Your goal should be to criticize and place attention on the misogynistic jerks who perpetuate stereotypical ideas about women and made you competitors in the first place. Women are not competitors. They are all real, complex, and worthy people who deserve to be treated with respect.

When women support each other, incredible things happen.

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